Category: Self development

2021, change, coming out of lockdown, Excersie, fitness, health, Identity, life style, lifestyle, lock down, lockdown, Mental health, mentalhealth, new normal, personal development, post lockdown, Self development, selfcare, spring

Post lock down reprogramming back to your “new normal”

brainbiscuitscoaching

Struggling to remember life before full lock down?

Wanting to connect and identify back to who you are? what you normally look like? Normallly wear beyond pjs and workout gear or your favourite lounge suit? Thinking what is it I Normally would do and now can do? or are allowed to do again, when? and most of all what you’ve learnt, changes you’ve made and all the small to big achievements,progresses in such hard and challenging time you have achieved!

First off, remember you have never been probably more isolated at times, patient, pushed, emotional, had to cope with dramatic changes, from family dynamists, income, pressure, routine, relationships and never before been and had to be so many roll’s in day to day life, from parent, colleague, teacher, to full time 24/7 all round the clock provider to your household. We have all had to dig deep and hard this winter on such a dip level resilience wise during a winters lock down! and all the last 12 months has brought to the world, a year of incredibly turbulent challenging changes.

So, When lockdown eases and things start to be let’s say somewhat a “new normal”, what dose that mean to you? Look like? And how dose it make you feel?

For many of us we may be a mixed bag of relief, false pretence, fear worry, anxiety and many more where that came from. Their May be some areas in your life which will now change as a result of al this or have because of this. You maybe thinking what will the new future look like when more restrictions are eased. This can be form your work, career, where you live location wise, Friends and family dynamics the lifestyle you have via want and the direction you are wanting to go in now since the world somewhat changed.

It’s a really good idea to have a moment before you are back running around on the school run, back to your allowed normal restriction wise, think about how you are and what you want going forward. Find a suitable place with a notebook and pen or mental log and your favourite environment in your home or when out walking and reflect and consider what you feel and will help you coming out of lockdown mentally and physically?

Tips of things to try and consider:

1) First off, keep yourself motivated and feeling as strong and positive as you can especially if your feeling more anxious than relieved right now. Start by writing down all the positive changes you have made since all this started and especially when full lock down occurred for you. from the smallest of things like, I gave up something unhealthy, I became fitter, I learnt a new skill, craft, tool on household challenge, decorated, decluttered, moved, Quality precious time with those in your house hold and all the changes you made that made you personally feel better. Don’t forget, the very fact we have got through the lock down is a Big achievement in itself!

2) It is a perfect time to revisit your core values and your centre what is important to you reevaluate this to see if they are the same or different from such a big life experience.

3) look ahead, ask yourself the following questions, what do I want now from life out of lock down? What do I want to do this summer? this year? Then what do I want to change and where do I want to be a year from now? You could also later think of this also with your partner and see what joint goals you have to as-well as your individual ones.

4) Have a moment to think if you are concerned, ask yourself, what are you most worried, scared about going back out into “new normal “ ? Then when you answer this ask yourself, what will help me no be as worried, scared about this or help me ease my anxiety with all this? What strategies can I draw upon which I know work? this could be from relaxation techniques, exercise, fresh air and walks, craft projects, creative projects, talking to somebody, writing things down, reading positive material and whatever works bespoke to you.

5) reflect back on, who, how and what’s really helped lift your Spirts throughout this whole experience? What can I take forward from this to keep me feeling lifted when new normal returns?

6) Plan ahead, draft out and try putting am down a plan of what your new structure, routine will be. Make sure you look at how you will plan and make sure you fit in all your individual needs, family, couple and fitness needs. Fill this plan and weekly schedule if you like, with things you really enjoy doing in your life going forward from, personal time, me time, exercise routines, hobbies, Quality family, time quality relationship time,making sure you don’t forget what you have learned from and enjoyed in lockdown, maybe you did exercise more, eat better, spend less time on screen time, find little country gems to go walking in your home town. It’s so important to keep continuing positive things you have worked hard on to bring to your life and to have as much as you can in your power a happy balanced lifestyle.

When The restrictions ease between now and summer,it’s important to remember with all these changes, when you get things back to “new normal”, kids at school, offices open, seeing friends and loved ones, events, gatherings allowed, social hubs opening and things move forward throughout this year you might experience a lot of different emotions and feelings, remember to remind yourself this is ok! everyone’s situation is unique we are all in the same storm but in different boats and whatever you feel, emotional or physically is ok.

Think about what you need to make this change post lockdown as stress free, kind and seamless as possible for both yourself and your family.

confidence, Identity, lifestyle, motivation, Self development, Well-being

So many roles, but who am I,what makes me, Me? …

brainbiscuitscoaching

So many identities, titles, roles, but who are you?

Struggling with identity? working out who you are? with the time you have left in the day, to yourself, no reserve left to invest in yourself after all you have given to others in the day?

Now more than ever we have all taken on more, play more roles to those in our lives and give all we can to get through what has been a very unusual 12 months! From working from home more, home schooling, becoming teachers overnight, being a rock of support for your household, family, friends and community. But you must not forget you amongst all the chaos.

Then it’s time to plan and workout how to make sure you have some energy, time and plan for you to re-identify yourself back to being you. Start planning the “Get your identity back plan”

First let’s help you to re-identify with yourself;

1, what do you like right now in your life, what do you enjoy?

2, what do you want to change, or not like in your life right now?

3, when do you feel at your happiest and when do you feel at your worst?

Once you have answered these, look at how you answered the question regarding what do you like and when feel at your most happiest. At those times;what are you doing, what role would you label yourself as at that time ?

An example might be, when I am with my children and family at the weekend, that would be your parent label. When I am going for my daily walk with the dog that is probably your ‘you’ label.

When you then look at what you don’t like right now in your life and what makes you feel at your worst. Think about,what labels they best identified with. A example might be; I feel so on edge and stressed and under pressure when at work, so this label would be your ‘profession or job title”.

Once you have the good,the bad,the best and worse times listed and roles labelled ask yourself;

If you could pick anything to describe yourself as, what 3 things at the moment would you want and choose to be?

Which of the 3 descriptions is the most important one to you right now?

Then focusing on that particular one of the 3 first.

Ask yourself, is this something you feel you already identify as? If not what would you need to do to be like this description?

For example if you put happy, you need to think of all the things that would mean and make you happy in your opinion.

It could be things like, feeling very comfortable in my own skin, reaching my your aims in life, seeing the things you want to see and experience in life, having self love and inner contentment for yourself, having good well-being. These are all examples, once you have done this, then do this with the remaining two words left of your 3.

Once you have a description and meanings for all of them, look at what your first wrote down, the answers to what you feel makes you happy, feel at your best and at your worst etc.

Then next imagine or actually form a visual timetable of your life and a snap shot of a full 7 day week. What do you now want it to look like? What can you change to your Current weekly situation, and make a schedule that fits more to the description of who you want to be and what would be a happier lifestyle allowing time factored in so you can be and best version of you as-well as all the other roles you are in the day.

Photo by Pete Johnson on Pexels.com

For example, daily you might be taking on the role of a teacher with homeschooling, parent role and then partner with house work and cooking dinner, sorting household paperwork and needs, but then this time table now has the “you “ factor in.

One where, you have a space and time written in, that you have an hour or what you need of me time, to focus and complete x,y,z towards being the you that you described in the task before, where you picked your 3 words.

It might be that being happy or healthier was a description, therefore you may have concluded you want to become a runner, a Gym bunny, a cyclist, walking rambler, CrossFit member or someone who is very active in life. So you now put this time in to your day and week so you start to become just that.

Before you know it, days become weeks, weeks become months, a year and before long you have made it a lifestyle!

you have become the description, the ‘you wanted to be!

you have your own identity you wanted, away from all the other roles you play to others and can be all of those things in balance with your own needs, wishes, wants and life.

Don’t lose who you are, don’t get lost in your roles, know who you are, what you want and keep being you!

the happier you are the more positive and good you will bring to your life and all those around you. Over time the descriptions can change and your likes and dislikes too, remember every time you do something that makes you happy or more like the description you want to be, in those moments your not just wanting it anymore your becoming that person! Your making it happen your the “you” you want to be,in those moments and you matter!

accountability, beliefs, life style, lifestyle, Mental health, New beginnings, out with old in with new, Self development, Uncategorized, weightloss, Well-being, wellbeing

Stop blaming, start positive Aiming! …,,,

brainbiscuitscoaching

This is a hard subject at times for us all, Blame.

Blaming things, people, life for where you are, unfortunately leads to no movement forward. When we find ourselves really wanting to do something or really not wanting to do something, the reality is, your the one making the decision, making and taking the move forward or not in life.

It’s very hard to be true to yourself and honest and say, you no what I can make this happen or not for myself, I am the one driving the steering wheel, regardless of what life trows your way, you are choosing how to deal or not deal with it, right here right now.

An example is let’s say you have decided to follow a goal of yours, this goal might be that you want to be your version on healthy, which is to not to drink alcohol and watch what you eat in regards to processed foods and your goal is to change how you currently feel in your own skin. You feel the foods make you feel bad and that you feel alcohol makes you feel unmotivated for your new exercise routine, which you are following as part of your overall goal.

The situation you then find yourself in is that you have been on track now for just over 4 weeks, your starting to feel so much better mentally and physically, getting results in your moods, energy levels and seeing the physical positive changes of your efforts, your then invited to a social event and there will be the foods you want to avoid and wine, cocktails and things you feel hinder you and your goal right now, what do you do?

A) Do you decided to have a night off from your regime, that’s fine you have decided I want this stuff this evening so I will.

B) Do you not go because you don’t want to put yourself in this position when you have just started to make the steps to the goal and it’s to early on for you to be in this position?

C) Do you go but not drink alcohol and have your meal before you go so your are not Hungary for those food items when there?

The answer is all of them are right, which ever you want, you decide you take control of the decision and own it.

Then you don’t blame anything or the social event for why things go wrong or right because you are deciding what you want to do how you want to do it and you are fully in control and accountable for you and your actions.

When you start being positive In your decisions and accountable you then don’t blame anyone or others for where you are, because their is no negative spin on you making very conscious decisions. You either want something or you don’t, you either do it or you don’t. You go or don’t go and everything still moves on and progresses for you if you want it to.

Accountability is such a powerful tool, to be accountable is such a strength, it allows you to have boundaries for where you want your goals to sit, move and shape, face what you feel is where you are at, where you are going and have realistic mindset those goals and keeping yourself in check.

Top key tips to ensure you stop blaming and start positive aiming, towards your goals:

1) Attitude, start looking at the way you talk about things, do you find yourself blaming and shaming things, circumstances and people for we’re you are today ? A movement forward would be the next time you go to do this,try to stop yourself and instead support yourself into a new more positive mental attitude, say to your self, do you want this? Or not? When you start having a more negative spin on things try to use more positive language and actions towards yourself and your steps. Aims and goal, be your own cheerleader and prep talk yourself out of what you don’t want to happen, remind yourself that you can do this you can stay on track and tenner what and why you are doing this all for in the first place.

2) Focus, keep where your heading fresh in your mind, think of how you will feel when you make the changes and goals happen for yourself how amazing will this feel, then also think about if you didn’t change anything at all how would you feel, let this motivate you further, choose the direction you want and keep focused , you will get there which ever you choose, change or no change.

3) Admitting where your at, what’s working, what’s not working and be really true to yourself about what you want and don’t want. Work out what your strength’s and weaknesses are and plan for success and drop out things which you have admitted do not help you! Things that do not help you and change the approach so you can’t fail.

4) Stop self sabotage; when things start going right and you either feel a little outside your comfort zone or you become scared or fearful of your successes and change remember that old habits die hard, don’t start self sabotage try to prepare for these times and coach yourself out of doing this, remind yourself, its ok I feel scared this is new and think of all the good you have done to get here right now and all the great things your goals will lead you to, it’s worth staying on track. Work on yourself, your fears and find ways of facing and understanding what can and has held you back and when you feel this starting again to happen you take control and stop it taking control of you. It’s important to get support and help if you need to don’t let anything or anyone stop you from your successes, it takes a great and real strength to face things.

5) Excuses, leave them all behind, accept you are the one who is in the driving seat and making the decision to do or not do something. Don’t blame anyone or anything else you are in control, so take control of the direction you are going.

The bottom line is invest your energy in yourself, learn to let go or draw a line of anything that’s holding you back and be open to the fact that it could be you holding yourself back, blocking the way. you have the key to unlock your life and start aiming towards your future the future you want. You just need to believe in yourself more, remember the mind is one or the most powerful tools you have.

confidence, Identity, lifestyle, new year, new year resolution 2019, New you, Self development, Steps to success

Build yourself up, don’t knock yourself down!

brainbiscuitscoaching

 

photography of person on green mountain
Photo by mirsad mujanovic on Pexels.com

It’s so easy to think negatively at times about yourself and put yourself down, but have you ever tried it the other way round, thinking positively about yourself instead?

Think of all the times you got back up when life knocked you down, each time you said enough and made a change in your life all the fight you have had in you and determination.

Look at your character, you will be full of personality, skills, attributes and ability in many fields to succeed; some you might not have had the chance to unlock till now, but believe me we each have a wonderful positive contribution to give to both ourselves and others.

So go ahead start your list, ask yourself;

1,what our your personal strengths and list them;

2, list all of the things your happy with about you and your life right now;

3, Find a positive word that you feel best sums you up ! Us this as a tool to help you keep going when you have a challenging day especially when you feel like giving up;

4, Become strong in who you are, remember the inside is just as important as the outside. Make yourself solid to the core in your values, visions and future. Don’t let anyone or anything take that from you, stay true to who you are and allow yourself to grow, progress and most of all enjoy your life!

Happy “You Year”

accountability, Identity, lifestyle, Mental health, motivation, Self development, Uncategorized, Well-being

Accountability a powerful life tool!

brainbiscuitscoaching

It’s such a strength to own up to where you are in your life and if your not happy do something about it!

If you want things to change you need to be accountable and stop the rut you find yourself in. Own the current situation, draw a line it’s happened and for whatever reason you are where you are and more importantly your ready to face up to it, Your accepting that your the one responsible and in the driving seat and only you can steer yourself the way you want to go!

when you become accountable you will find yourself to have better clarity on things and that you are so much more stronger than before. From this moment of change you make happen results you want can take place and you don’t have to be in that same stagnant place of denial any more! Ever heard the line of you always done what you always do your always get what you’ve always got! It’s so true!

When your know longer scared of your current reality anymore and face things such as where you currently are in life how are you ever going to know what you want?

When you finally established a starting line and what you want the finish line to look like (the change) you then can move forward and take steps and go get your goals. We often slip into ruts with things and don’t put ourselves first but until you do put yourself first how can you ever move on!

Be aware of Selfsavatarge mode, this is another way of ruining things for yourself, when things start to go right for you are you someone who then trys to stop it from happening because it’s new Territory and this terrifs you? Meaning you go back to what was to feel safe back into the “comfort Zone” do you put obstacles in your own way. If you think yes this is me than you need to plan strategies of what you can do when you find yourself in this position along the way again your being accountable and showing up for yourself! If you no certain things trigger this behaviour avoid it as much as you can.

The thing is when you face things and you make changes and you become more the you that you want to be,it can really push you at times when you have nowhere to hide from things and face things and be challenging to not slip back into old habit, it’s much harder to fully accept the new you to even yourself and also for others to accept this change to.

Remember Your not being selfish because of this change either you have just hit a point where you have to put yourself first. So you can really start living again and in the moment and most importantly feel happier.

When you start owning your feelings and emotions your are then allowing things to be released and no longer have them bubbling away inside and just think any negativity that’s inside from this you can finally let go of! just think how liberating and emotionally lighter you will feel, accountability really is a detox in its own right.

If You feel yourself start to slip back off the wagon again with your goals the steps I would recommend are;

1) checkin with yourself are you experiencing lots of emotional or physical stress at the moment?

2) ask yourself do you feel in control or out of control?

3) who can help you when you face the current situation? And how can you contact and reach out to this support and help?

4) workout the current reality of the situation, where are you right now? What are you able to change?

5) write down what you want to happen next

6) write down the steps you need to go from where you are to where you want to go

7) remember what triggered this off before for you and plan strategies to keep you on track.

8) surround yourself with motivation, be it people, environments, photos, items whatever sparks joy and makes you want to succeed.

9)Remember to Remind yourself how far You’ve come. How You felt before and how You feel when all your steps and goals You set are reached and use that to motivate yourself back on track again

10) show up for yourself every day your responsible for ensuring your worth. write down steps and tasks that will help get your where you want to be and tick them off your list as they are completed. There is lots of proof that when you write things down your more likely to stick to what’s written.

The above steps should help you identify with the life you want and person you want to be, remember having accountability is a key life tool which will keep you on track, it will ensure You don’t steer off course and remain responsible for go getting what you want in life.