accountability, beliefs, life style, lifestyle, Mental health, New beginnings, out with old in with new, Self development, Uncategorized, weightloss, Well-being, wellbeing

Stop blaming, start positive Aiming! …,,,

This is a hard subject at times for us all, Blame.

Blaming things, people, life for where you are, unfortunately leads to no movement forward. When we find ourselves really wanting to do something or really not wanting to do something, the reality is, your the one making the decision, making and taking the move forward or not in life.

It’s very hard to be true to yourself and honest and say, you no what I can make this happen or not for myself, I am the one driving the steering wheel, regardless of what life trows your way, you are choosing how to deal or not deal with it, right here right now.

An example is let’s say you have decided to follow a goal of yours, this goal might be that you want to be your version on healthy, which is to not to drink alcohol and watch what you eat in regards to processed foods and your goal is to change how you currently feel in your own skin. You feel the foods make you feel bad and that you feel alcohol makes you feel unmotivated for your new exercise routine, which you are following as part of your overall goal.

The situation you then find yourself in is that you have been on track now for just over 4 weeks, your starting to feel so much better mentally and physically, getting results in your moods, energy levels and seeing the physical positive changes of your efforts, your then invited to a social event and there will be the foods you want to avoid and wine, cocktails and things you feel hinder you and your goal right now, what do you do?

A) Do you decided to have a night off from your regime, that’s fine you have decided I want this stuff this evening so I will.

B) Do you not go because you don’t want to put yourself in this position when you have just started to make the steps to the goal and it’s to early on for you to be in this position?

C) Do you go but not drink alcohol and have your meal before you go so your are not Hungary for those food items when there?

The answer is all of them are right, which ever you want, you decide you take control of the decision and own it.

Then you don’t blame anything or the social event for why things go wrong or right because you are deciding what you want to do how you want to do it and you are fully in control and accountable for you and your actions.

When you start being positive In your decisions and accountable you then don’t blame anyone or others for where you are, because their is no negative spin on you making very conscious decisions. You either want something or you don’t, you either do it or you don’t. You go or don’t go and everything still moves on and progresses for you if you want it to.

Accountability is such a powerful tool, to be accountable is such a strength, it allows you to have boundaries for where you want your goals to sit, move and shape, face what you feel is where you are at, where you are going and have realistic mindset those goals and keeping yourself in check.

Top key tips to ensure you stop blaming and start positive aiming, towards your goals:

1) Attitude, start looking at the way you talk about things, do you find yourself blaming and shaming things, circumstances and people for we’re you are today ? A movement forward would be the next time you go to do this,try to stop yourself and instead support yourself into a new more positive mental attitude, say to your self, do you want this? Or not? When you start having a more negative spin on things try to use more positive language and actions towards yourself and your steps. Aims and goal, be your own cheerleader and prep talk yourself out of what you don’t want to happen, remind yourself that you can do this you can stay on track and tenner what and why you are doing this all for in the first place.

2) Focus, keep where your heading fresh in your mind, think of how you will feel when you make the changes and goals happen for yourself how amazing will this feel, then also think about if you didn’t change anything at all how would you feel, let this motivate you further, choose the direction you want and keep focused , you will get there which ever you choose, change or no change.

3) Admitting where your at, what’s working, what’s not working and be really true to yourself about what you want and don’t want. Work out what your strength’s and weaknesses are and plan for success and drop out things which you have admitted do not help you! Things that do not help you and change the approach so you can’t fail.

4) Stop self sabotage; when things start going right and you either feel a little outside your comfort zone or you become scared or fearful of your successes and change remember that old habits die hard, don’t start self sabotage try to prepare for these times and coach yourself out of doing this, remind yourself, its ok I feel scared this is new and think of all the good you have done to get here right now and all the great things your goals will lead you to, it’s worth staying on track. Work on yourself, your fears and find ways of facing and understanding what can and has held you back and when you feel this starting again to happen you take control and stop it taking control of you. It’s important to get support and help if you need to don’t let anything or anyone stop you from your successes, it takes a great and real strength to face things.

5) Excuses, leave them all behind, accept you are the one who is in the driving seat and making the decision to do or not do something. Don’t blame anyone or anything else you are in control, so take control of the direction you are going.

The bottom line is invest your energy in yourself, learn to let go or draw a line of anything that’s holding you back and be open to the fact that it could be you holding yourself back, blocking the way. you have the key to unlock your life and start aiming towards your future the future you want. You just need to believe in yourself more, remember the mind is one or the most powerful tools you have.

comfort eating, fitness, health, lifestyle, mentalhealth, weightloss

Dear self… why am i comfort eating!

Ever get those days where nothing seems right and you head to the fridge for whatever comforts you ,from wine, ice cream, cheese or cupboards for biscuits, cakes and crisps and without thinking consume them even if not Hungary. Are you someone who when things seem hard and hopeless you want a quick comfort, something that gives a short fix but then this adds to the feeling of failure and being out of control.

This behaviour is you hitting a self destruction button, which later you regret as you don’t feel better from the binge at all just worse.

The question to yourself is what’s happened?what started the slope that caused you to feel like this and derail?

If it’s negative thoughts and beliefs in your head about yourself causing this for you, have you considered how true they are,do you actually believe them? Are they limiting you in your life? Beliefs are only actually real if you believe them! So how can you unpick the real from the untrue ones.

The first step is to change the way you think and look at things. Try getting your own new perspective of things (this is your start line) if you have hit the bottom the only way now is up.Be honest about what you have been doing that hasn’t worked and what you need to do to ensure you succeed?

Ask yourself next time you go to open the fridge at night after a hard day, do I want that Ice cream or is this a comfort fix? If it’s for comfort, What if you decide to face the emotions instead and talk about them or write them down, get them out don’t store them and lose control by hitting self-destruct button anymore. For the moment you lose control, you open the ice cream tub you try to suppress emotions buy a short term comfort, this is you self sabotaging everything your working so hard towards.

The key is you realise this and make a change Recognise your hurting yourself your in a circle of comfort eating and break free, take control and be present in your thoughts and work on progress and happiness for yourself.

When you have a day or time where things start to slip and make you feel low, learn to recognise this and interject straight away.

1) when you feel your at your weakest, keep away from toxic communication and surround yourself with positive people and things that lift your spirits. This can be music, programmes, films, fitness routines to speaking to fiends. Engage with a Community of people in the same boat if it’s around fitness or weight goals. Look for motivation and inspiration.

2) It’s important to acknowledge where you are and know that it will pass. Don’t dwell, keep moving and if you do step off course , change the next step to being back On track,’the pass has happened but you can Change the now. Try Communicating to a close friend, others on the same journey or to your self, try owning the feelings “say I’m having a rubbish day” the sooner you own it the sooner it can change, as it’s no longer being stored and bottled up. Plus by owning your feelings by saying “I feel sad”this helps you realise where you truly are with your emotions and you may feel more able to deal with them. You can also see if you need greater support and seek help as the emotions will now be in your conscience and you can plan a way forward. When in denial nothing can change.

3) get through the foggy dark days buy drawing on strategies that help keep you grounded. Things that you find therapeutic try to build regularly into your life from creative pursuits to fitness routines, reading, writing, or watching something that lightens the mood and fills you with laughter.

4) Its important to reflect on the positives, look at how far you’ve come. Every step you have already taken. Remember to say to yourself you have got this! You can do this!be confident in the direct and aims you have for your end goal. Also remember we are all human and everyone falls of the bandwagon sometimes the key is you get back up and show up!

5) write down everything that’s stressing you out and you feel is making you feel low,ask what evidence their is that this is the case? if their is anything you think can prove this then ask yourself do I want to change this? If the answer is yes, then the next question is, how can I change this?

An example of this is, if a person says,they don’t feel very fit and healthy and it’s getting them down. They could then look at the evidence to support this, if the evidence of this that they currently spend little or no time on their physical well-being such as exercise, fresh air what can I do to change this…

They can then Start by Making a change towards this, for example start factoring exercise into their weekly, daily routine. This is them then taking control of their direction and making time to spend on them feeling better, they then are less likely to feel low and more in control so can coach themselves better when they find themselves considering comfort eating again and feel less out of control.

The key is to factor the things that give you strength and keep you on track regularly into your life. Make sure they are put into your weekly schedule, where they best work and suit the reality of your day-to-day life. For example if you know it’s not gonna work long-term in the mornings round your work, Kids etc,then change it to the evening or afternoons.

Make sure you set yourself up to succeed not to fail. It’s important to set realistic strong steps that really suit your lifestyle and current situations” set yourself up to succeed not to fail.

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