This is a hard subject at times for us all, Blame.
Blaming things, people, life for where you are, unfortunately leads to no movement forward. When we find ourselves really wanting to do something or really not wanting to do something, the reality is, your the one making the decision, making and taking the move forward or not in life.
It’s very hard to be true to yourself and honest and say, you no what I can make this happen or not for myself, I am the one driving the steering wheel, regardless of what life trows your way, you are choosing how to deal or not deal with it, right here right now.
An example is let’s say you have decided to follow a goal of yours, this goal might be that you want to be your version on healthy, which is to not to drink alcohol and watch what you eat in regards to processed foods and your goal is to change how you currently feel in your own skin. You feel the foods make you feel bad and that you feel alcohol makes you feel unmotivated for your new exercise routine, which you are following as part of your overall goal.
The situation you then find yourself in is that you have been on track now for just over 4 weeks, your starting to feel so much better mentally and physically, getting results in your moods, energy levels and seeing the physical positive changes of your efforts, your then invited to a social event and there will be the foods you want to avoid and wine, cocktails and things you feel hinder you and your goal right now, what do you do?
A) Do you decided to have a night off from your regime, that’s fine you have decided I want this stuff this evening so I will.
B) Do you not go because you don’t want to put yourself in this position when you have just started to make the steps to the goal and it’s to early on for you to be in this position?
C) Do you go but not drink alcohol and have your meal before you go so your are not Hungary for those food items when there?
The answer is all of them are right, which ever you want, you decide you take control of the decision and own it.
Then you don’t blame anything or the social event for why things go wrong or right because you are deciding what you want to do how you want to do it and you are fully in control and accountable for you and your actions.
When you start being positive In your decisions and accountable you then don’t blame anyone or others for where you are, because their is no negative spin on you making very conscious decisions. You either want something or you don’t, you either do it or you don’t. You go or don’t go and everything still moves on and progresses for you if you want it to.
Accountability is such a powerful tool, to be accountable is such a strength, it allows you to have boundaries for where you want your goals to sit, move and shape, face what you feel is where you are at, where you are going and have realistic mindset those goals and keeping yourself in check.
Top key tips to ensure you stop blaming and start positive aiming, towards your goals:
1) Attitude, start looking at the way you talk about things, do you find yourself blaming and shaming things, circumstances and people for we’re you are today ? A movement forward would be the next time you go to do this,try to stop yourself and instead support yourself into a new more positive mental attitude, say to your self, do you want this? Or not? When you start having a more negative spin on things try to use more positive language and actions towards yourself and your steps. Aims and goal, be your own cheerleader and prep talk yourself out of what you don’t want to happen, remind yourself that you can do this you can stay on track and tenner what and why you are doing this all for in the first place.
2) Focus, keep where your heading fresh in your mind, think of how you will feel when you make the changes and goals happen for yourself how amazing will this feel, then also think about if you didn’t change anything at all how would you feel, let this motivate you further, choose the direction you want and keep focused , you will get there which ever you choose, change or no change.
3) Admitting where your at, what’s working, what’s not working and be really true to yourself about what you want and don’t want. Work out what your strength’s and weaknesses are and plan for success and drop out things which you have admitted do not help you! Things that do not help you and change the approach so you can’t fail.
4) Stop self sabotage; when things start going right and you either feel a little outside your comfort zone or you become scared or fearful of your successes and change remember that old habits die hard, don’t start self sabotage try to prepare for these times and coach yourself out of doing this, remind yourself, its ok I feel scared this is new and think of all the good you have done to get here right now and all the great things your goals will lead you to, it’s worth staying on track. Work on yourself, your fears and find ways of facing and understanding what can and has held you back and when you feel this starting again to happen you take control and stop it taking control of you. It’s important to get support and help if you need to don’t let anything or anyone stop you from your successes, it takes a great and real strength to face things.
5) Excuses, leave them all behind, accept you are the one who is in the driving seat and making the decision to do or not do something. Don’t blame anyone or anything else you are in control, so take control of the direction you are going.
The bottom line is invest your energy in yourself, learn to let go or draw a line of anything that’s holding you back and be open to the fact that it could be you holding yourself back, blocking the way. you have the key to unlock your life and start aiming towards your future the future you want. You just need to believe in yourself more, remember the mind is one or the most powerful tools you have.
Brain Biscuits Coaching 