Category: Identity

be happy, health, Identity, life style, lifestyle, Mental health, mentalhealth, motivation, New you, selfcare, Uncategorized, Well-being, wellbeing

Unlocking yourself step by step….. Find your Key

brainbiscuitscoaching

Ever think your plodding along waiting to actually be the real you and live your life the way you want. Become and being who you truly are and want to be?

Do you feel like you start with good intentions to do just this and then Life throws things your way ! Then you have to deal with what’s thrown at you and sometimes it feel constant, so you need time to process the impact of this and what’s been caused as a result.

When these things happen to get through We sometimes have to sacrifice what we wanted, stop and ease all pressure and our personal priorities have to change, shift and our direction then,some times even if temporary has to change.

Then Once the impact of what’s been trown your way becomes the new normal, is resolved, is accepted or has past we can then revaluate where we are and want to go next with our own personal journey again. Back on track or new track. But how do we ensure we can get to where we want to be even with the rollacoaster of life, how can we still become who we want to be and keep creating a lifestyle we want and not keep losing it?

Some ideas of the Steps you could consider and take to help you understand more about who you are, what you want in life and the key to unlocking your true self ….

1) First off it’s important to find out what makes you happy!; Think of all the things that you currently do that makes you feel good, make you feel like your really living and alive, things that make you feel that’s zest again for life. Factor them into your life more and often.

2) No what triggers off your mood swings or various behaviours. It’s a good ideas to keep a mood diary to spot any tiggers both good and bad in your life and day to day, so you can workout what causes these and have more or less time and energy on these things!what ever your mood, sad, angry, worried, scared, happy, excited, motivated etc the list goes on work out what makes you feel what, then un-pick it all from your diary to help you get a clear picture of what you can change if possible.

3) Ask yourself what do I want in my life? What do you want to become in life now? To help you with this there is an exercise you can do, imagine what your ideal self would be like in description if could meet your future self say in 3-5yrs time. what would you want this person to be like and do and have ? Then describe this version of yourself , what words and description have you used. Use this as a basis for current aims and goal setting.

4) To move forward you have to let go of what holds you back. Consider what at the moment dose this?what are you thinking and believing that could limit you, stop you from moving on? Think about areas of yourself and life which you feel make you feel more negative about who you are. Think about what can be done to get rid of these feelings? As limiting beliefs. How can you support yourself to move forward with this so you feel less negative, held back or so fearful.

5) Understand the importance of Self worth, acceptance and belief. How can you help yourself accept yourself more and the things you don’t want to accept make changes to, so they become what you will or want to accept. It’s important to learn how to understand what you can change via what you cannot. Learn to draw a line under those things so you can be free of such negativity and anything toxic and move on finally in your life, most importantly then be free of those things you once harboured inside, creating more space to fill with new positive things form moving forward in your life and all the good these new steps bring.

6) Think about what makes feel the real best version of you! What do you like ?what makes you feel confident, what is it you do that makes you feel happy, your most content and what do you enjoy, what can be added to your day to day life to keep you on track, what do you use to boost yourself. Then consider how often you move outside the comfort zone and take on new ventures, challenges and tasks? Do you currently and rarely do this? If so then maybe think about what would challenge you the right amount to inject some newness into your life? That’s if you want of course. This often can be the smallest step at first but it becomes a seed of change for you, because every step leads to something new, a shift, the start of a new direction in your life. The hardest part is taking the step in the first place.

7) Remember perfect doesn’t exists strive for your best but not prefect, giving things your best will definitely do! keep things real and sustainable no failing their, you can also build a lifestyle off things that are sustainable, allowing you to keep to a level you want to be at which is achievable and maintainable.

8) Learn to say no more and not spend lots of time on things and people that you feel impact your mental health, limit things that make you feel faraway from who you are and drain you, life’s to short.

9) Know yourself , recognise when your slipping and what strategies work to keep you as grounded and stable both mentally and physically as possible, top this up daily and regularly it’s so important.

9) Accept that good things take time, allow yourself time to process what’s happened in your life, no that you will move forward again when the times right when any trauma occurs, no that it’s perfectly normal to need time to repair, grieve, process any trauma, in life and be kind to yourself and reach out if you feel your struggling. Find a community you feel part of to work through and support each other, connect and in turn this could help you to feel less alone and isolated.

10) Don’t deflate and dim down who you are to please others, life’s to short so shine, find others who allow you to shine and radiate off each other and have a tribe who is definitely your vibe around you.

11) Remember your human and we all have bad days, sad days low days your not a robot,you will experience different emotions in life and that perfectly ok!

12) Be aware that Your mental health will change rapidly at times in life, when unexpected things happen. workout what helps you feel stable and use these strategies regularly to keep yourself topped up.

13) Value your health make a small step then another, keep adding one you commit to one for long enough it becomes a lifestyle. Changes that are realistic and sustainable allowing you to constantly improve your overall lifestyle.

14) understand the importance of Self-care, value how important this is, do things that support you and promote your well-being and no how this can be affected on good days and bad days and factor in time for you to look after yourself and needs.

15) No what you need and how to make it happen for yourself. This isn’t a selfish act! it’s key to success “you time” is key for your mental health, physically health and well being it’s what supports your success and happiness.

Remember You hold the key to “you” now you just need to know how to turn it ….

Excersie, fitness, health, Identity, life style, lifestyle, lock down, lockdown, Mental health, mentalhealth, motivation, new challenges

Sitting comfortably, maybe it’s time for a new personal challenge…..

brainbiscuitscoaching

Smash outside your comfort zone, especially after such a crazy turbulent 12 months, find things you want to do that will make you have determination, drive to push yourself forward to what you want to do and have in your life.

Feeling like your plodding along in life right now, feeling like your just existing? This is the time to look for new ventures!

When you find yourself stuck in a rut the only thing to break the cycle is to do something different!

Be brave if you want to do something then do it! Step outside of the normal routine, find that change that breaks this for you! Sometimes a change no matter how small is all that is needed, to both boost yourself esteem and get you in the right direction.

Trying these new things can help you both mentally and physically. New Experiences can be a breath of fresh air and be that new bit of energy you need. Changes that enrich your life and keep you on the path you want are so important.

Ever thought to yourself ‘if that didn’t happen I wouldn’t be where I am now? If you think of things metaphorically; you plant a seed because you want to grow something and if you just wanted the seed to remind a seed, you wouldn’t have planted it in the first place and most importantly, it won’t flower unless you plant it……

Step outside what you know, be challenged; thrive, grow, live, and flower!

Simpler, easy Steps to help you get there;

1) pick one new change or challenge for yourself to tackle, take on and prosper.

2) write it down, then write down 3-5 steps it will take to complete this and get this challenge and change done.

3) write a start date and a completion date to the change and or challenge

4) think of a new one once this one is done ✅

5) start building more experiences, memories, positive changes and gains from pushing out side your comfort Zone.

Write, complete, repeat….

2021, change, coming out of lockdown, Excersie, fitness, health, Identity, life style, lifestyle, lock down, lockdown, Mental health, mentalhealth, new normal, personal development, post lockdown, Self development, selfcare, spring

Post lock down reprogramming back to your “new normal”

brainbiscuitscoaching

Struggling to remember life before full lock down?

Wanting to connect and identify back to who you are? what you normally look like? Normallly wear beyond pjs and workout gear or your favourite lounge suit? Thinking what is it I Normally would do and now can do? or are allowed to do again, when? and most of all what you’ve learnt, changes you’ve made and all the small to big achievements,progresses in such hard and challenging time you have achieved!

First off, remember you have never been probably more isolated at times, patient, pushed, emotional, had to cope with dramatic changes, from family dynamists, income, pressure, routine, relationships and never before been and had to be so many roll’s in day to day life, from parent, colleague, teacher, to full time 24/7 all round the clock provider to your household. We have all had to dig deep and hard this winter on such a dip level resilience wise during a winters lock down! and all the last 12 months has brought to the world, a year of incredibly turbulent challenging changes.

So, When lockdown eases and things start to be let’s say somewhat a “new normal”, what dose that mean to you? Look like? And how dose it make you feel?

For many of us we may be a mixed bag of relief, false pretence, fear worry, anxiety and many more where that came from. Their May be some areas in your life which will now change as a result of al this or have because of this. You maybe thinking what will the new future look like when more restrictions are eased. This can be form your work, career, where you live location wise, Friends and family dynamics the lifestyle you have via want and the direction you are wanting to go in now since the world somewhat changed.

It’s a really good idea to have a moment before you are back running around on the school run, back to your allowed normal restriction wise, think about how you are and what you want going forward. Find a suitable place with a notebook and pen or mental log and your favourite environment in your home or when out walking and reflect and consider what you feel and will help you coming out of lockdown mentally and physically?

Tips of things to try and consider:

1) First off, keep yourself motivated and feeling as strong and positive as you can especially if your feeling more anxious than relieved right now. Start by writing down all the positive changes you have made since all this started and especially when full lock down occurred for you. from the smallest of things like, I gave up something unhealthy, I became fitter, I learnt a new skill, craft, tool on household challenge, decorated, decluttered, moved, Quality precious time with those in your house hold and all the changes you made that made you personally feel better. Don’t forget, the very fact we have got through the lock down is a Big achievement in itself!

2) It is a perfect time to revisit your core values and your centre what is important to you reevaluate this to see if they are the same or different from such a big life experience.

3) look ahead, ask yourself the following questions, what do I want now from life out of lock down? What do I want to do this summer? this year? Then what do I want to change and where do I want to be a year from now? You could also later think of this also with your partner and see what joint goals you have to as-well as your individual ones.

4) Have a moment to think if you are concerned, ask yourself, what are you most worried, scared about going back out into “new normal “ ? Then when you answer this ask yourself, what will help me no be as worried, scared about this or help me ease my anxiety with all this? What strategies can I draw upon which I know work? this could be from relaxation techniques, exercise, fresh air and walks, craft projects, creative projects, talking to somebody, writing things down, reading positive material and whatever works bespoke to you.

5) reflect back on, who, how and what’s really helped lift your Spirts throughout this whole experience? What can I take forward from this to keep me feeling lifted when new normal returns?

6) Plan ahead, draft out and try putting am down a plan of what your new structure, routine will be. Make sure you look at how you will plan and make sure you fit in all your individual needs, family, couple and fitness needs. Fill this plan and weekly schedule if you like, with things you really enjoy doing in your life going forward from, personal time, me time, exercise routines, hobbies, Quality family, time quality relationship time,making sure you don’t forget what you have learned from and enjoyed in lockdown, maybe you did exercise more, eat better, spend less time on screen time, find little country gems to go walking in your home town. It’s so important to keep continuing positive things you have worked hard on to bring to your life and to have as much as you can in your power a happy balanced lifestyle.

When The restrictions ease between now and summer,it’s important to remember with all these changes, when you get things back to “new normal”, kids at school, offices open, seeing friends and loved ones, events, gatherings allowed, social hubs opening and things move forward throughout this year you might experience a lot of different emotions and feelings, remember to remind yourself this is ok! everyone’s situation is unique we are all in the same storm but in different boats and whatever you feel, emotional or physically is ok.

Think about what you need to make this change post lockdown as stress free, kind and seamless as possible for both yourself and your family.

fitness, health, Identity, life style, lifestyle, Mental health, mentalhealth, motivation, Well-being

Making goals that are true and from the H.E.A.R.T

brainbiscuitscoaching

It’s so important to be truly invested in your life and the direction your going and want to go in. When you make and list your aims, goals, dreams make sure they are things you would love to do, be and have in your life or change. Make them full of passion drive and determination, this is what is going to fuel them to happen and you to show up daily day in day out to make the end result become a reality.

I love using a HEART model approach to help me with my personal development goals. Because you have to be true to yourself, you have to make a time frame and it insurers the goal is set to be realistic by reminding you along the way.

An example of how to set your goals with H.E.A.R.T is below;

Honest: make sure your goal Is right for you? That it fit’s with your core values and beliefs?

Exact: think about exactly, what you will need to succeed and accomplish your goal. Think about and list all the steps you need to take along the way and log, celebrate and Mark them as you go.

Authentic: Make goals that are true to what you want, where you want to be what you want to have in your life and be sure it consistent with your values.

Realistic: don’t set yourself up to fail, make goals that are realistic to you and your life. Think about making steps and goals where you can or do you have the time, the energy, and motivation to complete the goal in mind. Think about the appropriate approach to the goal and If you have attempted it before and it hasn’t work just look at changing the approach.

Timely: think about the timeline you want to achieve this and what is realistic. Set a realistic deadline down on paper for example this time next year! Then Mark all the steps down somewhere like a dairy, for example weekly and daily steps that will get you there to the change the goal a year from now. Think about all the celebrations along the way with the steps what can change for the good along the way as a result. For example fitness goals, each week and step you will be getting healthier and fitter along the way to the goal which might be for example a half marathon, this goal as also then brought more to your life already along the way in this timeframe because it promotes positive changes in your life along the way.

confidence, Identity, lifestyle, motivation, Self development, Well-being

So many roles, but who am I,what makes me, Me? …

brainbiscuitscoaching

So many identities, titles, roles, but who are you?

Struggling with identity? working out who you are? with the time you have left in the day, to yourself, no reserve left to invest in yourself after all you have given to others in the day?

Now more than ever we have all taken on more, play more roles to those in our lives and give all we can to get through what has been a very unusual 12 months! From working from home more, home schooling, becoming teachers overnight, being a rock of support for your household, family, friends and community. But you must not forget you amongst all the chaos.

Then it’s time to plan and workout how to make sure you have some energy, time and plan for you to re-identify yourself back to being you. Start planning the “Get your identity back plan”

First let’s help you to re-identify with yourself;

1, what do you like right now in your life, what do you enjoy?

2, what do you want to change, or not like in your life right now?

3, when do you feel at your happiest and when do you feel at your worst?

Once you have answered these, look at how you answered the question regarding what do you like and when feel at your most happiest. At those times;what are you doing, what role would you label yourself as at that time ?

An example might be, when I am with my children and family at the weekend, that would be your parent label. When I am going for my daily walk with the dog that is probably your ‘you’ label.

When you then look at what you don’t like right now in your life and what makes you feel at your worst. Think about,what labels they best identified with. A example might be; I feel so on edge and stressed and under pressure when at work, so this label would be your ‘profession or job title”.

Once you have the good,the bad,the best and worse times listed and roles labelled ask yourself;

If you could pick anything to describe yourself as, what 3 things at the moment would you want and choose to be?

Which of the 3 descriptions is the most important one to you right now?

Then focusing on that particular one of the 3 first.

Ask yourself, is this something you feel you already identify as? If not what would you need to do to be like this description?

For example if you put happy, you need to think of all the things that would mean and make you happy in your opinion.

It could be things like, feeling very comfortable in my own skin, reaching my your aims in life, seeing the things you want to see and experience in life, having self love and inner contentment for yourself, having good well-being. These are all examples, once you have done this, then do this with the remaining two words left of your 3.

Once you have a description and meanings for all of them, look at what your first wrote down, the answers to what you feel makes you happy, feel at your best and at your worst etc.

Then next imagine or actually form a visual timetable of your life and a snap shot of a full 7 day week. What do you now want it to look like? What can you change to your Current weekly situation, and make a schedule that fits more to the description of who you want to be and what would be a happier lifestyle allowing time factored in so you can be and best version of you as-well as all the other roles you are in the day.

Photo by Pete Johnson on Pexels.com

For example, daily you might be taking on the role of a teacher with homeschooling, parent role and then partner with house work and cooking dinner, sorting household paperwork and needs, but then this time table now has the “you “ factor in.

One where, you have a space and time written in, that you have an hour or what you need of me time, to focus and complete x,y,z towards being the you that you described in the task before, where you picked your 3 words.

It might be that being happy or healthier was a description, therefore you may have concluded you want to become a runner, a Gym bunny, a cyclist, walking rambler, CrossFit member or someone who is very active in life. So you now put this time in to your day and week so you start to become just that.

Before you know it, days become weeks, weeks become months, a year and before long you have made it a lifestyle!

you have become the description, the ‘you wanted to be!

you have your own identity you wanted, away from all the other roles you play to others and can be all of those things in balance with your own needs, wishes, wants and life.

Don’t lose who you are, don’t get lost in your roles, know who you are, what you want and keep being you!

the happier you are the more positive and good you will bring to your life and all those around you. Over time the descriptions can change and your likes and dislikes too, remember every time you do something that makes you happy or more like the description you want to be, in those moments your not just wanting it anymore your becoming that person! Your making it happen your the “you” you want to be,in those moments and you matter!