Tag: Well-being

confidence, Identity, lifestyle, motivation, Self development, Well-being

So many roles, but who am I,what makes me, Me? …

brainbiscuitscoaching

So many identities, titles, roles, but who are you?

Struggling with identity? working out who you are? with the time you have left in the day, to yourself, no reserve left to invest in yourself after all you have given to others in the day?

Now more than ever we have all taken on more, play more roles to those in our lives and give all we can to get through what has been a very unusual 12 months! From working from home more, home schooling, becoming teachers overnight, being a rock of support for your household, family, friends and community. But you must not forget you amongst all the chaos.

Then it’s time to plan and workout how to make sure you have some energy, time and plan for you to re-identify yourself back to being you. Start planning the “Get your identity back plan”

First let’s help you to re-identify with yourself;

1, what do you like right now in your life, what do you enjoy?

2, what do you want to change, or not like in your life right now?

3, when do you feel at your happiest and when do you feel at your worst?

Once you have answered these, look at how you answered the question regarding what do you like and when feel at your most happiest. At those times;what are you doing, what role would you label yourself as at that time ?

An example might be, when I am with my children and family at the weekend, that would be your parent label. When I am going for my daily walk with the dog that is probably your ‘you’ label.

When you then look at what you don’t like right now in your life and what makes you feel at your worst. Think about,what labels they best identified with. A example might be; I feel so on edge and stressed and under pressure when at work, so this label would be your ‘profession or job title”.

Once you have the good,the bad,the best and worse times listed and roles labelled ask yourself;

If you could pick anything to describe yourself as, what 3 things at the moment would you want and choose to be?

Which of the 3 descriptions is the most important one to you right now?

Then focusing on that particular one of the 3 first.

Ask yourself, is this something you feel you already identify as? If not what would you need to do to be like this description?

For example if you put happy, you need to think of all the things that would mean and make you happy in your opinion.

It could be things like, feeling very comfortable in my own skin, reaching my your aims in life, seeing the things you want to see and experience in life, having self love and inner contentment for yourself, having good well-being. These are all examples, once you have done this, then do this with the remaining two words left of your 3.

Once you have a description and meanings for all of them, look at what your first wrote down, the answers to what you feel makes you happy, feel at your best and at your worst etc.

Then next imagine or actually form a visual timetable of your life and a snap shot of a full 7 day week. What do you now want it to look like? What can you change to your Current weekly situation, and make a schedule that fits more to the description of who you want to be and what would be a happier lifestyle allowing time factored in so you can be and best version of you as-well as all the other roles you are in the day.

Photo by Pete Johnson on Pexels.com

For example, daily you might be taking on the role of a teacher with homeschooling, parent role and then partner with house work and cooking dinner, sorting household paperwork and needs, but then this time table now has the “you “ factor in.

One where, you have a space and time written in, that you have an hour or what you need of me time, to focus and complete x,y,z towards being the you that you described in the task before, where you picked your 3 words.

It might be that being happy or healthier was a description, therefore you may have concluded you want to become a runner, a Gym bunny, a cyclist, walking rambler, CrossFit member or someone who is very active in life. So you now put this time in to your day and week so you start to become just that.

Before you know it, days become weeks, weeks become months, a year and before long you have made it a lifestyle!

you have become the description, the ‘you wanted to be!

you have your own identity you wanted, away from all the other roles you play to others and can be all of those things in balance with your own needs, wishes, wants and life.

Don’t lose who you are, don’t get lost in your roles, know who you are, what you want and keep being you!

the happier you are the more positive and good you will bring to your life and all those around you. Over time the descriptions can change and your likes and dislikes too, remember every time you do something that makes you happy or more like the description you want to be, in those moments your not just wanting it anymore your becoming that person! Your making it happen your the “you” you want to be,in those moments and you matter!

accountability, health, Identity, life coaching, goal setting, life style, lifestyle, lock down, lockdown, Mental health, mentalhealth, motivation, Well-being, wellbeing

Live a life you love!…

brainbiscuitscoaching

Live a life you love!

February is here the month of love so it the perfect time to look at what you love in your life right now, and what would you love to change/happen and be doing this year?

An Emotion such as Love is so powerful and important as it gives you drive and determination. Relationships are also so important. The relationships you have with your family, friends, and community can really matter but what about the relationship You have with yourself!

Do you ever look at how you treat yourself?It’s important to recognise if you put your self down our put limiting beliefs out there that stop you doing what you love.

Look at what your current personal priorities are it’s Identify how much they mean to you and the impact they have on you. Also It’s good to look at How much responsibility you have towards the priorities. Can you make them change, can you take control of them?

If you are able to be in control of them, ask yourself what would like to work on first ? What would make your life better and more enjoyable?

It’s important to invest in yourself and your time. When it comes to “me time “it’s so important to not think of it as a selfish act because it’s so important to ensure you are happy just like everyone else, you also matter!

The happier you are the more likely that you will find those around you are!

I find “me time” helps with all of the juggling and work life balance we all have to deal with at times and making sure time out for yourself is factored in and planned.

There is no time like the present, for me time to happen, you need to just ask yourself these questions to get the ball rolling and start to make your plans!

Work on these 4 questions:

1, if I could do anything what would I love to be doing?

2, What would I love to happen this year that’s within my control?

3,What do I love and enjoy in my life and how Can I factor it in more to my routine?

4, when can I start some of the above, Pick a date when the first step is going to happen! It’s more likely to come true if you write it down and commit to it!

Remember you are steering your direction you can change it, make a life you love with the things that you have the control over and power to change.

Sometimes life is hard and we all at times get dealt cards that are unexpected, negative or out of our control! and these can therefore take us off course. But with the things that you do have control over and are able to have responsibility for take a positive change and why not make it all lead to something you really want in your life!

Remember there is no failure in trying! Don’t regret things make things happen you deserve to be happy! You can’t change yesterday or the past, but tomorrow is yours for the taking …………enjoy!

life style, time managemenr, lock down, mental health, well-being, you time, health, time

Time… too much, to little …

brainbiscuitscoaching

Time,we all have either not enough or to much time on are hands at the moment.

We may feel overwhelmed by having to do more tasks, juggling many roles and all while living under one roof and space, for example if your in lockdown.

Those of you who are living alone my be feeling more disconnected from the world because of this lockdown and as a result have a lot less social inclusion. This all can result in more time on your hands, to think.

The thing is,if we spend to much time thinking about things we could make ourselves feel worse, for example overanalyse and literally overthink something, or if we don’t have the time to think about what we are feeling and our thoughts and what we need, we can have a spiral in our mindset and in turn our mental health! it’s such a balancing act of what’s healthy and what’s to much time.

There is no right or wrong, but there is an impact.

If you don’t have enough time for what you need to do and process things you think about, whether it’s work related, homeschooling, emotional led thinking, fitting in things such as workouts, course work, craft projects, reading time etc then what happens?

Do you feel lower in your mood, more short tempered or snapping, feel stressed, pressured, anxiety? these are all sighs of not having enough efficient time on your hands and as a result, things are not working in the best way for you.

Learning to recognise when you need less or more time to invested in things, this will help ensure you keep balanced on the things you need to do, and also the things you enjoy and more importantly, give less time on what isn’t good for you or making you as happy.

Making time for things that keep you being you, is very important and working out what strategies help you to find this balance is key.

when you can have some “ you time” use it wisely, it’s not selfish, it’s vital.

if you don’t make time for yourself, your needs, steps and goal then how can you make what you want to happen, in your life happen?

So, how can you make time for what you need?

Take a moment to Reflect on how your currently using your time, is it affective? Is it sufficient for you?

Think about how this week has gone for you ? How have you felt as a result?

then imagine and think about what your perfect ideal weekly/ daily program would look like against this?

What would be different? what would you add in you didn’t make time to do before?what would you give less or more time to?

Time management ideas:

Make a mental log or make an actual timetable of the times in the day you feel you need to change the nature of what your doing, A example, do you have slot of time in one room, let’s say, in your home office all morning, do you make an hour for yourself to take a break and go for a walk? This is based on if your Safe to go outside, covid restrictions wise etc, did you want more time to be active and move, is this the right time or not to make time for a at home workout in another room in your home?

Consider, if you spoken to anyone today outside of your home, make time for positive people who keep you motivated, call your friends, family or watch those who inspire you on their daily blogs etc, use time to connect and keep you feeling less Alone.

When it comes to your time management timetable, make sure you don’t spend a-lot of time on things that make you feel low, alone or negative.

Factor in some clam/quiet time, If your house is full of people, find the time to have “your quiet time “alone away from everyone maybe wake before they all do, or when they are all asleep unwind somewhere for a while before you go to sleep.

If you have the ability of some support at home say with your partner, let them no you need time for yourself, if you feel you need time to do, your walk, your exercise,your you time and encourage them to have the same within your household/ family so you all have a better time being in each other’s pockets especially if in lock down.

Invest your time wisely whenever possible, remember this is an incredibly unique situation at the moment in the world, do what you need to live through it as mentally and physically possible.

fitness, health, lifestyle, lock down, lockdown, Mental health, mentalhealth, motivation, Thinking space, Uncategorized

Making your mornings start better ……..

brainbiscuitscoaching

It’s a great idea to try to start a routine in your morning, if you haven’t already, to get yourself in the best frame of mind, for the start of your day especially if in a lock down. Do something today ,that will help you feel better tomorrow. Here is some tips to start off your morning better…

1) Make the areas of your home, you are going to wake up and use first thing, tidy and clam. Pick say two areas,get this done the night before, just a quick tidy nothing to crazy just so it’s ready and feels in order,so it’s a clam usable space.

2) Right a quick list of things you want to achieve for the day, from ordering a food shop, sending some emails, exercise goal for the day etc.if you can’t do in the morning then list the night before ahead of the next day. Remember to tick them off as you go you will feel a Real sense of achievement.

3) Pick out what to wear for tomorrow, so when you wake up, it’s ready. Doing this will help you have a more positive wardrobe choice than you are likely to do if in a rush in the morning. for example if it’s a run first thing have it all ready for you to go do this in the morning,charge your fit bit, phone etc, so a positive start from the get go.

4) Wake up before the rest of the house, this is so you can have a moment to have your coffee, wake up properly ahead of the day, and anything it trows at you, such as work, homeschooling, house tasks and the work life balance you juggle

5) Make your breakfast count. Get organised, prep it all ready the night before into Tupperware , especially if you no, this is the only way you will have time round your activities to eat. Make it full of what you need to fuel your body for the start of your day. Make sure you include a glass of water first thing to when waking up, keeping hydrated is so important!

6) Morning movement, If you can fit in exercise In the morning then do! Ideally start with a stretch,walk, yoga or Pilates style workout that allows a lot of breathing and mindfulness, it will boost the start to your day so much. If you haven’t tried these things before, give them ago! Exercise really can give you a great positive boost, just what you having been missing or looking for,from your mornings.

comfort eating, fitness, health, lifestyle, mentalhealth, weightloss

Dear self… why am i comfort eating!

brainbiscuitscoaching

Ever get those days where nothing seems right and you head to the fridge for whatever comforts you ,from wine, ice cream, cheese or cupboards for biscuits, cakes and crisps and without thinking consume them even if not Hungary. Are you someone who when things seem hard and hopeless you want a quick comfort, something that gives a short fix but then this adds to the feeling of failure and being out of control.

This behaviour is you hitting a self destruction button, which later you regret as you don’t feel better from the binge at all just worse.

The question to yourself is what’s happened?what started the slope that caused you to feel like this and derail?

If it’s negative thoughts and beliefs in your head about yourself causing this for you, have you considered how true they are,do you actually believe them? Are they limiting you in your life? Beliefs are only actually real if you believe them! So how can you unpick the real from the untrue ones.

The first step is to change the way you think and look at things. Try getting your own new perspective of things (this is your start line) if you have hit the bottom the only way now is up.Be honest about what you have been doing that hasn’t worked and what you need to do to ensure you succeed?

Ask yourself next time you go to open the fridge at night after a hard day, do I want that Ice cream or is this a comfort fix? If it’s for comfort, What if you decide to face the emotions instead and talk about them or write them down, get them out don’t store them and lose control by hitting self-destruct button anymore. For the moment you lose control, you open the ice cream tub you try to suppress emotions buy a short term comfort, this is you self sabotaging everything your working so hard towards.

The key is you realise this and make a change Recognise your hurting yourself your in a circle of comfort eating and break free, take control and be present in your thoughts and work on progress and happiness for yourself.

When you have a day or time where things start to slip and make you feel low, learn to recognise this and interject straight away.

1) when you feel your at your weakest, keep away from toxic communication and surround yourself with positive people and things that lift your spirits. This can be music, programmes, films, fitness routines to speaking to fiends. Engage with a Community of people in the same boat if it’s around fitness or weight goals. Look for motivation and inspiration.

2) It’s important to acknowledge where you are and know that it will pass. Don’t dwell, keep moving and if you do step off course , change the next step to being back On track,’the pass has happened but you can Change the now. Try Communicating to a close friend, others on the same journey or to your self, try owning the feelings “say I’m having a rubbish day” the sooner you own it the sooner it can change, as it’s no longer being stored and bottled up. Plus by owning your feelings by saying “I feel sad”this helps you realise where you truly are with your emotions and you may feel more able to deal with them. You can also see if you need greater support and seek help as the emotions will now be in your conscience and you can plan a way forward. When in denial nothing can change.

3) get through the foggy dark days buy drawing on strategies that help keep you grounded. Things that you find therapeutic try to build regularly into your life from creative pursuits to fitness routines, reading, writing, or watching something that lightens the mood and fills you with laughter.

4) Its important to reflect on the positives, look at how far you’ve come. Every step you have already taken. Remember to say to yourself you have got this! You can do this!be confident in the direct and aims you have for your end goal. Also remember we are all human and everyone falls of the bandwagon sometimes the key is you get back up and show up!

5) write down everything that’s stressing you out and you feel is making you feel low,ask what evidence their is that this is the case? if their is anything you think can prove this then ask yourself do I want to change this? If the answer is yes, then the next question is, how can I change this?

An example of this is, if a person says,they don’t feel very fit and healthy and it’s getting them down. They could then look at the evidence to support this, if the evidence of this that they currently spend little or no time on their physical well-being such as exercise, fresh air what can I do to change this…

They can then Start by Making a change towards this, for example start factoring exercise into their weekly, daily routine. This is them then taking control of their direction and making time to spend on them feeling better, they then are less likely to feel low and more in control so can coach themselves better when they find themselves considering comfort eating again and feel less out of control.

The key is to factor the things that give you strength and keep you on track regularly into your life. Make sure they are put into your weekly schedule, where they best work and suit the reality of your day-to-day life. For example if you know it’s not gonna work long-term in the mornings round your work, Kids etc,then change it to the evening or afternoons.

Make sure you set yourself up to succeed not to fail. It’s important to set realistic strong steps that really suit your lifestyle and current situations” set yourself up to succeed not to fail.

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