Ever thought if we spent more time on the positive rather than as much time as we do talking negatively about, ourself, putting our self’s down and as a result missing out of things, as a result of all this, what you could actually achieve and be doing with your life?
When if we actually believed we can, how much happier we would be and what we would already have achieved and succeeded at and where we would be?
How many opportunities have come your way that your confidence, limiting self-beliefs, fears and influence of others stopped you taking?
Make a positive change and Stop this happening again! to you and yourself and don’t miss out on any more things you want to do in your life!
Go for it! say yes not No to positive opportunities and the worse thing that can happen is that you tried and it didn’t work or wasn’t what you wanted and then at least there is never going to be any regrets, you tried.
And just What if it all worked and you actually got want you wanted, it would be worth it then.
Take and apply these simple steps right now to your life!….
1) signing up to things! That course, that challenge that task, lessons, new ventures etc, get it’s done sign up!
2) saying yes more often! Those things you want to say yes to but fear stopped you pick one to start with and change the no I can’t to yes I can!
3) drop out more of the things you don’t want to spend your time and energy on! It’s so true the old saying, if you’ve always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you’ve always got, time for change, if something is not working change the approach, or draw a line under it and move on!
4) keep the path true to you and go get your dreams. Make sure you’re doing more of what you really want to do it’s your life.
5) make sure all of the above leads you to something that makes you feel really happy regularly.
It’s such a strength to own up to where you are in your life and if your not happy do something about it!
If you want things to change you need to be accountable and stop the rut you find yourself in. Own the current situation, draw a line it’s happened and for whatever reason you are where you are and more importantly your ready to face up to it, Your accepting that your the one responsible and in the driving seat and only you can steer yourself the way you want to go!
when you become accountable you will find yourself to have better clarity on things and that you are so much more stronger than before. From this moment of change you make happen results you want can take place and you don’t have to be in that same stagnant place of denial any more! Ever heard the line of you always done what you always do your always get what you’ve always got! It’s so true!
When your know longer scared of your current reality anymore and face things such as where you currently are in life how are you ever going to know what you want?
When you finally established a starting line and what you want the finish line to look like (the change) you then can move forward and take steps and go get your goals. We often slip into ruts with things and don’t put ourselves first but until you do put yourself first how can you ever move on!
Be aware of Selfsavatarge mode, this is another way of ruining things for yourself, when things start to go right for you are you someone who then trys to stop it from happening because it’s new Territory and this terrifs you? Meaning you go back to what was to feel safe back into the “comfort Zone” do you put obstacles in your own way. If you think yes this is me than you need to plan strategies of what you can do when you find yourself in this position along the way again your being accountable and showing up for yourself! If you no certain things trigger this behaviour avoid it as much as you can.
The thing is when you face things and you make changes and you become more the you that you want to be,it can really push you at times when you have nowhere to hide from things and face things and be challenging to not slip back into old habit, it’s much harder to fully accept the new you to even yourself and also for others to accept this change to.
Remember Your not being selfish because of this change either you have just hit a point where you have to put yourself first. So you can really start living again and in the moment and most importantly feel happier.
When you start owning your feelings and emotions your are then allowing things to be released and no longer have them bubbling away inside and just think any negativity that’s inside from this you can finally let go of! just think how liberating and emotionally lighter you will feel, accountability really is a detox in its own right.
If You feel yourself start to slip back off the wagon again with your goals the steps I would recommend are;
1) checkin with yourself are you experiencing lots of emotional or physical stress at the moment?
2) ask yourself do you feel in control or out of control?
3) who can help you when you face the current situation? And how can you contact and reach out to this support and help?
4) workout the current reality of the situation, where are you right now? What are you able to change?
5) write down what you want to happen next
6) write down the steps you need to go from where you are to where you want to go
7) remember what triggered this off before for you and plan strategies to keep you on track.
8) surround yourself with motivation, be it people, environments, photos, items whatever sparks joy and makes you want to succeed.
9)Remember to Remind yourself how far You’ve come. How You felt before and how You feel when all your steps and goals You set are reached and use that to motivate yourself back on track again
10) show up for yourself every day your responsible for ensuring your worth. write down steps and tasks that will help get your where you want to be and tick them off your list as they are completed. There is lots of proof that when you write things down your more likely to stick to what’s written.
The above steps should help you identify with the life you want and person you want to be, remember having accountability is a key life tool which will keep you on track, it will ensure You don’t steer off course and remain responsible for go getting what you want in life.
Mental health awareness week has fallen at a time where many of us are in lockdown or just starting to come out of it! to a new way of being and living until changes and vaccines are hopefully made!
This is a time where we all will feel a change in our mental health, wether we are fully aware of it or not. It’s a time to be kind to Ourselves and listen to our needs especially if we feel we need support, space or some me time.
We all have mental health just as we have physical health however, it is not always something we look at regularly supporting and training, or exercising and reviewing. It would be wonderful to think we soon will be in a world where we could openly ask each other ” how you feeling today and how’s your mind”, without it being uncomfortable. We all have those moments in life where things can cause us to feel lower in our mood. This often affects our mental health. Times of this “low mood “ or any ongoing sadness can happen to any of us at any time, feeling as if it comes upon us without any warning. It is important to recognise your own personal triggers. It’s important to ask yourself
1,what are my triggers?
2,What sends my stress levels over the edge?
3, Is there any changes you can make to help you manage these things?
4, what helps you to keep going when you feel like this?
The triggers could be anything, such as a memorable date, topics you are sensitive to and don’t want to face yet, family, relationships, self-limiting beliefs, traumas, life events, medical reasons, life pressure, public speaking, anything! It is so important to take the time to look at any trigger patterning you have.
By looking at triggers you can possibly unlock a resilience strategy for yourself that just might help you cope better when you are in need.
Emotional stress can be really overwhelming, it can impact both your physical and mental state. Strategies to support your resilience can work wonders in helping you through this time, along with of course any support groups, professional outreach etc available to you.
Examples of resilience you can use when this happens are things such as supportive building blocks to help manage your stress levels. Some of mine are below:
When life is busy I have to make sure I have me time
Personal head space-time, walk, read, chill out somewhere away from everything to just clear your mind (a pause moment)
Something that is physical such as sport; for me my main choice of activity to spend my “me” time on is running
Something that makes you feel a sense of belonging such as socialising with the right community
Things I enjoy, things that make me happy, as happiness is so important! Such as hobbies (Creative Diet)
I try to goal set my activities into my weekly plans, looking at how I can review and improve and identify the priorities I have. These keep me on track and both my physical and mental health are in better shape for it (Muscle Motivation)
Predict my stress triggers. When I know something is coming up that is likely to cause stress good planning is key. I look at what I can do to manage it as best I can, and what best supports me
Make sure you tell someone. If I am worried about things or stressed, just saying things out loud to someone can make a huge difference as you then own your true feelings
Choose to hang out with people on your level. Someone you can text, call, meet and have that support with
I ensure I take regular pause moments; so important!
Even when you don’t feel like it connect with the world daily so you don’t become withdrawn.
Remember you are often not alone with these feelings and it is so important to tell someone. Don’t suffer in silence, it will only get worse.
First off I want to again wish you all strength, health and positivity at such a turbulent time. My blogs at the moment are sharing how I am coaching myself and family through our self isolation and to share this with you. I hope that you find it helpful, and if nothing else something nice to read about.
We are trying to make a positive bubble in our home at the moment for us all to live in as comfortably and as stress free as possible. with all that’s going on in the world right now this is essential
We are trying to take positive from the simplest of things and of course value our precious time together.
We also are monitoring our foods supplies, planning menus for each day so not to waste anything. We are even using left overs such as peals and skins of fruits and packaging food comes in, so for example really over ripe bananas can be used to create a cake or loaf, which provides more for the whole family as long as you have eggs, flour, sugar and butter or vegan variations lying around.
Then we also looked at the leftover waste of these products and found out what can we do with them? the egg shells and banana skins can be used in the garden to help with the growing of our vegetables, we planted some runner beans this weekend so we should have crop for summer in case vegetables are hard to get, which currently it’s very hit and miss in the stores.
We have found some canes in our garden and string in the shed and used the soil that was good in our garden so didn’t need to buy anything in addition to the seeds we had in storage.
I’m enjoying learning about things that I wouldn’t have made a priority before and simply didn’t have the time to do before. These tasks have all been in some way creative, which again keeps us as a family seeing progress with visual results. We also have tasks set for the day so then indirectly have small goals, which we are achieving. This helps us feel a sense of accomplishment; it’s great to see results of our efforts for the day as a household. The most important part to this is that we can show our child that it’s important to be as sustainable and self-sufficient as possible.
We all have times where we feel like giving up on things, the targets we set, the plans we make the goals we have because at times everything is hard and can be such a effort! It can feel like every part of you is tired and everything seems well, hopeless and empty. So what do you do to keep going and not give up?
We all experience days like this or will do at some point in our life and it’s good to know how to help yourself through this and what you can do if you find yourself in this position.
1) Stay connected, tell someone your not having a good day! however you communicate that just make sure you let them know. Take a moment also to think about who that would be so that if you ever find your day to be a struggle you’ll no that when in the middle of feeling like this who that person is you would call.
2) Think about What normally helps lift and lighten the mood.what makes you feel better? Try to do it, exercise, crafts, sleep, music, art, cleaning,Baking? Whatever it is try to do it, use it as “your go to! ”
3) Leave the house! don’t shut away from everyone, even if it’s a short walk, drive or full on run you chose leave the house ! environment change can really help and keeps you connected to the world.
4) It’s also still that time of year where many of us struggle because it’s cold, dark and the sun isn’t always out, so the days can seem very long and dark! When there is daylight and reasonable weather it’s a great idea to go outside!
5) When your struggling also remebr to give yourself acknowledge for the things you have done and are doing, remember where you started and where you are now, that you have the strength to get back up! believing in yourself and that you can get through this!
6) It’s so important to be kind to yourself and prep talk yourself through this day! Whatever you take comfort from do!
7) Laughter is a great way to lift spirts try watching something you like that you find funny.
8) Plan things to look forward to doing in the near future, Watch, read, listen to things that inspire you. This can help you to look forward. “Maybe look at a holiday”?
9) Also functioning properly is so important, Sleep how are you sleeping ? This is so important and it could be that your also very tired and exhausted and could be experiencing burn out! So try to rest and look to get a good sleep,
10) it’s important to also see if there are any trends that you notice which cause you to feel this way, there might not be but if there are it’s worth going into that in more detail and working out why and what can be done to change this in the future. Do you need support there is nothing wrong in asking for help!
Please also be aware your not alone we all have down days if they turn into longer periods of time and more often definitely speak to someone don’t suffer alone!
When everything feels a little hopeless….
Brain Biscuits Coaching 