accountability, beliefs, life style, lifestyle, Mental health, New beginnings, out with old in with new, Self development, Uncategorized, weightloss, Well-being, wellbeing

Stop blaming, start positive Aiming! …,,,

This is a hard subject at times for us all, Blame.

Blaming things, people, life for where you are, unfortunately leads to no movement forward. When we find ourselves really wanting to do something or really not wanting to do something, the reality is, your the one making the decision, making and taking the move forward or not in life.

It’s very hard to be true to yourself and honest and say, you no what I can make this happen or not for myself, I am the one driving the steering wheel, regardless of what life trows your way, you are choosing how to deal or not deal with it, right here right now.

An example is let’s say you have decided to follow a goal of yours, this goal might be that you want to be your version on healthy, which is to not to drink alcohol and watch what you eat in regards to processed foods and your goal is to change how you currently feel in your own skin. You feel the foods make you feel bad and that you feel alcohol makes you feel unmotivated for your new exercise routine, which you are following as part of your overall goal.

The situation you then find yourself in is that you have been on track now for just over 4 weeks, your starting to feel so much better mentally and physically, getting results in your moods, energy levels and seeing the physical positive changes of your efforts, your then invited to a social event and there will be the foods you want to avoid and wine, cocktails and things you feel hinder you and your goal right now, what do you do?

A) Do you decided to have a night off from your regime, that’s fine you have decided I want this stuff this evening so I will.

B) Do you not go because you don’t want to put yourself in this position when you have just started to make the steps to the goal and it’s to early on for you to be in this position?

C) Do you go but not drink alcohol and have your meal before you go so your are not Hungary for those food items when there?

The answer is all of them are right, which ever you want, you decide you take control of the decision and own it.

Then you don’t blame anything or the social event for why things go wrong or right because you are deciding what you want to do how you want to do it and you are fully in control and accountable for you and your actions.

When you start being positive In your decisions and accountable you then don’t blame anyone or others for where you are, because their is no negative spin on you making very conscious decisions. You either want something or you don’t, you either do it or you don’t. You go or don’t go and everything still moves on and progresses for you if you want it to.

Accountability is such a powerful tool, to be accountable is such a strength, it allows you to have boundaries for where you want your goals to sit, move and shape, face what you feel is where you are at, where you are going and have realistic mindset those goals and keeping yourself in check.

Top key tips to ensure you stop blaming and start positive aiming, towards your goals:

1) Attitude, start looking at the way you talk about things, do you find yourself blaming and shaming things, circumstances and people for we’re you are today ? A movement forward would be the next time you go to do this,try to stop yourself and instead support yourself into a new more positive mental attitude, say to your self, do you want this? Or not? When you start having a more negative spin on things try to use more positive language and actions towards yourself and your steps. Aims and goal, be your own cheerleader and prep talk yourself out of what you don’t want to happen, remind yourself that you can do this you can stay on track and tenner what and why you are doing this all for in the first place.

2) Focus, keep where your heading fresh in your mind, think of how you will feel when you make the changes and goals happen for yourself how amazing will this feel, then also think about if you didn’t change anything at all how would you feel, let this motivate you further, choose the direction you want and keep focused , you will get there which ever you choose, change or no change.

3) Admitting where your at, what’s working, what’s not working and be really true to yourself about what you want and don’t want. Work out what your strength’s and weaknesses are and plan for success and drop out things which you have admitted do not help you! Things that do not help you and change the approach so you can’t fail.

4) Stop self sabotage; when things start going right and you either feel a little outside your comfort zone or you become scared or fearful of your successes and change remember that old habits die hard, don’t start self sabotage try to prepare for these times and coach yourself out of doing this, remind yourself, its ok I feel scared this is new and think of all the good you have done to get here right now and all the great things your goals will lead you to, it’s worth staying on track. Work on yourself, your fears and find ways of facing and understanding what can and has held you back and when you feel this starting again to happen you take control and stop it taking control of you. It’s important to get support and help if you need to don’t let anything or anyone stop you from your successes, it takes a great and real strength to face things.

5) Excuses, leave them all behind, accept you are the one who is in the driving seat and making the decision to do or not do something. Don’t blame anyone or anything else you are in control, so take control of the direction you are going.

The bottom line is invest your energy in yourself, learn to let go or draw a line of anything that’s holding you back and be open to the fact that it could be you holding yourself back, blocking the way. you have the key to unlock your life and start aiming towards your future the future you want. You just need to believe in yourself more, remember the mind is one or the most powerful tools you have.

lifestyle, lock down, Mental health

Struggling with your thoughts and feelings….Learn to enjoy a good brain dump!

A lot on your mind, thoughts in your head

Ever have times where you feel incredibly overwhelmed, like your really processing a lot of thoughts and feelings or just feel in a withdrawn state?

You may have a mind full of all sorts,This is the perfect time to have a good brain dump.

A brain dump is where you literally take every single thought that you can catch, that’s swimming around in your mind and get it down on paper, wether a word, complete sentence of thoughts or feelings. Write it all on a page and off load it there from your mind and make a subconscious brain dump.

It’s an ideal strategy when you need to clear your mind, I recommend that you find a place you can have a moment and take the time you need to complete this exercise;

The exercise should help you to understand and identify more about your thoughts and feelings and this should in return help your mental health. It allows you to keep your mind as clear and as aware as possible. By regularly doing this as a strategy.

This will help you Identify when your overwhelmed or stressed, which is so important as your mental health is just as important as physical health. I hope this practical exercise for the mind feel that it supports you just like an exercise routine for your body would.

This exercise gets the words, feelings and thoughts out that you need to expose to yourself and helps you exercise your thoughts, outward rather than harbour them inwards and keep them bottled up inside, where they manifest into something else if not addressed, like anxiety, anger, fear, worry, sadness and what you actually really need is to talk them outward, release them on to paper.

When brain dumping, Start with all the things that come quickly to mind first, as they are normally trigger words that open up more depth of your thoughts and feelings.

An Example is, if I wrote the word “Pressure “ I could look at that word and ask myself why did I write this? My answer might be, I wrote pressure because I feel, I am someone who regularly has presume in there life. The next question is why do you feel pressure? I feel pressure because I’m juggling a lot of things all the time. By asking this it helps you identify some context to the thoughts and words.

The next thing to then do is ask yourself what can be done about this? Can anything be done?, is it in your control? How can I feel less “pressured” what are my options, can I get help with X, Y and Z that I am juggling that makes me feel this pressure. If you find somethings you write on this that’s not in your control. Then how can you draw a line on it, accept and move on, or find a strategy to cope with the things your not in control of, you can make a list of what helps with these things such as exercise, walking , running, mindfulness, yoga, Pilates, craft projects, etc

The other things that can come to mind when you get things down on paper, might be things that are more of a list of things you want to do or need to do, with these, section them together and then you could make a to-do task list for yourself. This is so you feel you have these things now out of the mind and in your control.

You may have things that are on your mind that are impacting you a lot. A particular subject that comes back regularly, this is something to focus on. Spend more time on working this through. ask yourself why it regularly comes up? Do you need help with this?

Ask yourself, is this particular word or situation stopping you from progressing,becoming or doing anything? Ask yourself is it linked to anything?

Remember, It’s always better out than in, keeping it all internally will normally mean it’s coming out still,but in a different way. It may be displayed in mood swings, out of control with food or substances, feeling low or unhappy regularly. This is because your not dealing with it yet or fully, until you do your subconscious will keep it floating around to haunt you. Learn to let it out and let it all go….

Also If you are really struggling and feel you need support don’t be ashamed, reach out to someone don’t suffer in silence. talk it out and get support.

health, lifestyle, mentalhealth, Well-being

Your happiness, the best investment you’ll ever make!

There is a time where we all struggle to identify with what makes us truly happy. It hard to no where your happiness lies as it’s all part of our ever changing mindset, but once you have identified it, it will change your life. Choosing to do more of what makes you happy is one of the best investment you can make!

The more happier you are the more you will project this outward, to what you attract into your life and naturally to those people around you,so don’t feel guilty for investing time for yourself , they to benefit by you being the best version of yourself. We All need to make the time to help find out what makes us happy and build on this in our life and the strategies that we feel provide this to us as a person.

Remember you get out what you put in, if little time is invested into your personal happiness, then the less happy you will feel.

This “Internal happiness ” isn’t always easy to find as it’s a ever changing and supported by our mind-set therefore it needs to be maintain! If you don’t keep it topped up it’s going to start to slip and fade. Keep being consistent in investing in it for yourself.

If you want to try to identify what currently would help you feel happier, then It’s good to list the things out that you feel are currently in your life, that do make you happy.From this list,then identify what of this is purely for you, just you,you as an individual not as a role you play to others. Remember this is keeping your happiness true to you. Making sure you regularly do what makes you happy as daily as possible, even if it’s a 30 minute me time, exercise class or walk, it will keep you also feeling strong in your mindset to.

The key is to learn how to keep it going. It’s very easy to dedicate time into making others happy but don’t you too need to also be happy and have this as a priority in your life? This is to ensure you keep “you” being the real you. So you keep true to who you are, who you identity as a person in your own right, as well as all the other labels you carry, partner, mother, father, sibling, colleague, friend etc.

It maybe a collection of things, that when put together they collectively lead you to finding your happiness. When you find this and your mindset is happier, you’ll find that your living more in the moment, your more at peace with yourself and have learnt that it’s ok to say no to things. You may also become more confident in who you are, you may want to try new things, new experiences, thinge that definitely move you outside your comfort zone. With these things until you brave them and take more steps forward towards the things you want to do,but have been to scared to try in the past, If you don’t ever try these, will you feel regret or feel your missing out?

Make a list of what you feel makes you happy. Identify What on the list is currently in your life and what on the list currently isn’t. Then if you have a few things listed pick 2 or 3 of them that you want bring into your life and Focus on right now. plan some steps for this to happen. keep the things you feel make you happy under review as it can change, so goals can be made, moved and achieved, keep a eye on your mood and mind. Don’t let yourself slip back because your giving everything to everyone else.

It might be you don’t yet no what truly makes you feel happy, but no what definitely doesn’t make you happy!maybe start with this and looking at what can you change, even eliminate from life. Try to avoid and stop doing the things that you don’t like and that are definitely not making you happy. It maybe this change has to come first before you can even think of what makes you happy, clearly in your mind.

Making time to analyse what impacts you negatively and positively is very important, others wise you can form a toxic lifestyle and routine of things that collectively make you unhappy, and spend little time on what brings positivity to your day, the long term impact of this will be on your mental health, so get it right for you.

Remember your mind is one of the most powerful life tools you have and happiness is a state of your mindset. Invest in it and the returns are endless.

comfort eating, fitness, health, lifestyle, mentalhealth, weightloss

Dear self… why am i comfort eating!

Ever get those days where nothing seems right and you head to the fridge for whatever comforts you ,from wine, ice cream, cheese or cupboards for biscuits, cakes and crisps and without thinking consume them even if not Hungary. Are you someone who when things seem hard and hopeless you want a quick comfort, something that gives a short fix but then this adds to the feeling of failure and being out of control.

This behaviour is you hitting a self destruction button, which later you regret as you don’t feel better from the binge at all just worse.

The question to yourself is what’s happened?what started the slope that caused you to feel like this and derail?

If it’s negative thoughts and beliefs in your head about yourself causing this for you, have you considered how true they are,do you actually believe them? Are they limiting you in your life? Beliefs are only actually real if you believe them! So how can you unpick the real from the untrue ones.

The first step is to change the way you think and look at things. Try getting your own new perspective of things (this is your start line) if you have hit the bottom the only way now is up.Be honest about what you have been doing that hasn’t worked and what you need to do to ensure you succeed?

Ask yourself next time you go to open the fridge at night after a hard day, do I want that Ice cream or is this a comfort fix? If it’s for comfort, What if you decide to face the emotions instead and talk about them or write them down, get them out don’t store them and lose control by hitting self-destruct button anymore. For the moment you lose control, you open the ice cream tub you try to suppress emotions buy a short term comfort, this is you self sabotaging everything your working so hard towards.

The key is you realise this and make a change Recognise your hurting yourself your in a circle of comfort eating and break free, take control and be present in your thoughts and work on progress and happiness for yourself.

When you have a day or time where things start to slip and make you feel low, learn to recognise this and interject straight away.

1) when you feel your at your weakest, keep away from toxic communication and surround yourself with positive people and things that lift your spirits. This can be music, programmes, films, fitness routines to speaking to fiends. Engage with a Community of people in the same boat if it’s around fitness or weight goals. Look for motivation and inspiration.

2) It’s important to acknowledge where you are and know that it will pass. Don’t dwell, keep moving and if you do step off course , change the next step to being back On track,’the pass has happened but you can Change the now. Try Communicating to a close friend, others on the same journey or to your self, try owning the feelings “say I’m having a rubbish day” the sooner you own it the sooner it can change, as it’s no longer being stored and bottled up. Plus by owning your feelings by saying “I feel sad”this helps you realise where you truly are with your emotions and you may feel more able to deal with them. You can also see if you need greater support and seek help as the emotions will now be in your conscience and you can plan a way forward. When in denial nothing can change.

3) get through the foggy dark days buy drawing on strategies that help keep you grounded. Things that you find therapeutic try to build regularly into your life from creative pursuits to fitness routines, reading, writing, or watching something that lightens the mood and fills you with laughter.

4) Its important to reflect on the positives, look at how far you’ve come. Every step you have already taken. Remember to say to yourself you have got this! You can do this!be confident in the direct and aims you have for your end goal. Also remember we are all human and everyone falls of the bandwagon sometimes the key is you get back up and show up!

5) write down everything that’s stressing you out and you feel is making you feel low,ask what evidence their is that this is the case? if their is anything you think can prove this then ask yourself do I want to change this? If the answer is yes, then the next question is, how can I change this?

An example of this is, if a person says,they don’t feel very fit and healthy and it’s getting them down. They could then look at the evidence to support this, if the evidence of this that they currently spend little or no time on their physical well-being such as exercise, fresh air what can I do to change this…

They can then Start by Making a change towards this, for example start factoring exercise into their weekly, daily routine. This is them then taking control of their direction and making time to spend on them feeling better, they then are less likely to feel low and more in control so can coach themselves better when they find themselves considering comfort eating again and feel less out of control.

The key is to factor the things that give you strength and keep you on track regularly into your life. Make sure they are put into your weekly schedule, where they best work and suit the reality of your day-to-day life. For example if you know it’s not gonna work long-term in the mornings round your work, Kids etc,then change it to the evening or afternoons.

Make sure you set yourself up to succeed not to fail. It’s important to set realistic strong steps that really suit your lifestyle and current situations” set yourself up to succeed not to fail.

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accountability, Identity, lifestyle, Mental health, motivation, Self development, Uncategorized, Well-being

Accountability a powerful life tool!

It’s such a strength to own up to where you are in your life and if your not happy do something about it!

If you want things to change you need to be accountable and stop the rut you find yourself in. Own the current situation, draw a line it’s happened and for whatever reason you are where you are and more importantly your ready to face up to it, Your accepting that your the one responsible and in the driving seat and only you can steer yourself the way you want to go!

when you become accountable you will find yourself to have better clarity on things and that you are so much more stronger than before. From this moment of change you make happen results you want can take place and you don’t have to be in that same stagnant place of denial any more! Ever heard the line of you always done what you always do your always get what you’ve always got! It’s so true!

When your know longer scared of your current reality anymore and face things such as where you currently are in life how are you ever going to know what you want?

When you finally established a starting line and what you want the finish line to look like (the change) you then can move forward and take steps and go get your goals. We often slip into ruts with things and don’t put ourselves first but until you do put yourself first how can you ever move on!

Be aware of Selfsavatarge mode, this is another way of ruining things for yourself, when things start to go right for you are you someone who then trys to stop it from happening because it’s new Territory and this terrifs you? Meaning you go back to what was to feel safe back into the “comfort Zone” do you put obstacles in your own way. If you think yes this is me than you need to plan strategies of what you can do when you find yourself in this position along the way again your being accountable and showing up for yourself! If you no certain things trigger this behaviour avoid it as much as you can.

The thing is when you face things and you make changes and you become more the you that you want to be,it can really push you at times when you have nowhere to hide from things and face things and be challenging to not slip back into old habit, it’s much harder to fully accept the new you to even yourself and also for others to accept this change to.

Remember Your not being selfish because of this change either you have just hit a point where you have to put yourself first. So you can really start living again and in the moment and most importantly feel happier.

When you start owning your feelings and emotions your are then allowing things to be released and no longer have them bubbling away inside and just think any negativity that’s inside from this you can finally let go of! just think how liberating and emotionally lighter you will feel, accountability really is a detox in its own right.

If You feel yourself start to slip back off the wagon again with your goals the steps I would recommend are;

1) checkin with yourself are you experiencing lots of emotional or physical stress at the moment?

2) ask yourself do you feel in control or out of control?

3) who can help you when you face the current situation? And how can you contact and reach out to this support and help?

4) workout the current reality of the situation, where are you right now? What are you able to change?

5) write down what you want to happen next

6) write down the steps you need to go from where you are to where you want to go

7) remember what triggered this off before for you and plan strategies to keep you on track.

8) surround yourself with motivation, be it people, environments, photos, items whatever sparks joy and makes you want to succeed.

9)Remember to Remind yourself how far You’ve come. How You felt before and how You feel when all your steps and goals You set are reached and use that to motivate yourself back on track again

10) show up for yourself every day your responsible for ensuring your worth. write down steps and tasks that will help get your where you want to be and tick them off your list as they are completed. There is lots of proof that when you write things down your more likely to stick to what’s written.

The above steps should help you identify with the life you want and person you want to be, remember having accountability is a key life tool which will keep you on track, it will ensure You don’t steer off course and remain responsible for go getting what you want in life.